....some people need others as a "pivot" of sorts upon which,or around which,they can "posture". I seem to be one of those types of persons around whom people like to posture,to put on pretensions,to speak more loudly,to start their "hollywood acting audition". Not sure why they do it around me. But I don't like it.its tiresome. That's why I will go out of my way to find places of solitude. But even then I've experienced people going out of their way to be near me. Even parking places...strangely in a huge parking lot some people will choose to park near me,when they have an entiure lot to choose from. And uncannily at church I will be sitting alone in a far away pew & some single person will come and sit down directly behind me at the last moment. Its creepy. Its happens too often for it to be just coincidence. And today I'm sitting alone on a bench overlooking the ocean,with plenty of open space on both sides,and a japanese couple stops a few feet away & start arguing in chinese or japanese,breaking the solitude. They could stand anywhere to argue or chat loudly,and they choose to do so right next to me. Even when I was staying at my aunts house in jackson wyoming,my aunt & uncle would choose to argue right by me,& when I left,they stopped. When I visited grand rapids after 2 years absence,I dropped by a friend,7 while there he called. His dad to come over for some reason. So his dad comes by & were all sitting in the living room,and I begin to get the feeling that they are using me for an audience to "stump" their vue system. So I get up & take my dog for a walk. When I return,the dad is gone. People use me to channel their own way of life,their politics. Even clerks. Latino clerks really use me...sometimes calling me "sirk with false respect,other times other things depending on how they are trying to posture . What it all comes down to is people who have not ventured far enough in life to come to their own sense of self & self-integrity. They are parasites and need somebody to "attach" to. They are co-dependents who don't have a sense of self-existence or self-dependence without creating a victimhood scheme,and they need a person around whom,or upon whom they can either blane or who they can use as a stump. And all you can do in such circumstances as try to get away until they come to the point of self-dependence (ie dependence on God actually creates a sense of selflessness & self-integrity because it creates courage ,and with courage you take responsible risks to venture out,to explore & discover,and the more u do this, the more you become a mature,aware,person,not relying on being a victim or perpetual childish dependence.
"God exalted Jesus to the highest place & gave Him the name that is above every other name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should BOW, in heaven & on earth & under the earth, & every tongue CONFESS that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." Philippians 2:9-11
